YOU MARRIED A WOMAN ELDER THAN YOU???
MARRIAGE AND TABOOS: Yes, you heard it right! This might be considered as an unnoticed mess in this patriarchal society we live in which does not care a jot for it. The customs and traditions have taken over our society on a huge scale where doing something usual means different and out of the box. Majority of the marriage related minutest or imprecise issues are associated with the women in a Pakistani society while the men get all the unwanted advantages.
It is usually considered a man to be 4-5 years elder than the woman but not vice versa. We demand a wife who is prettier, mature, caring, understanding, loving and on top of that YOUNGER than the husband. Now, what does that mean? Obviously everyone is going to care less for a man but a woman. This is the upsetting reality of the Pakistani society, you will definitely agree on this stance whereas doing the same thing over and over again that too guilt free.
Despite of looking for compatibility between a couple, the age difference is given immense focus which is absolutely pathetic. We have seen the typical match-making process which demands a non-divorced, younger girl for a guy who wants to remarry or who is literally on the verge of dying. Sounds really funny but actually is very true. The female souls are here compromising for their basic rights just because of our so called values and norms that make them think they are not worth anything. Why do we want to make a human feel like that? No one has the right to make you feel unhappy and undeserving about yourself when you legit deserve much much more.
Lets suppose even if a girl married a guy younger than her and they both end up being divorced or separated (God forbid), the desi aunties will come running with a reason. You know what that would be? “oh zahir hai shadi hamesha apney se choti larki se karni chaye warna yai tou hoga”. Why do we need to blame anyone without knowing the back story? We live in a society where all the misconceptions are so much linked that discussing just one feels incomplete. In this era of social media, we become the judiciary for someone else’s personal life be it marriage, pregnancy, children or divorce.
Learn More: Toda Marriage Regulations and Taboos
Now, having a basic religious background and on the whole being a muslim we should have enough knowledge about our Holy Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) who married a woman 15 years elder than him. This is for the ones who go for religion as their shield when pointed a finger at, why can’t you really ponder upon the fact that our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) married a women who was married twice before. This is utter disappointment for us as a society which makes a girl feel inferior throughout her life.
YOU DID NOT CONCEIVE YET?
Why is everything in this society considered as a taboo? Here comes another set of questions asked by the society to a girl which makes her dive into an inferiority complex. As soon as a couple gets married everyone wants to dig into their personal lives, without thinking if its ethical enough. There is this legitimate group of typical aunties in an Asian family, who would either backbite or ask straight up awkward questions to everyone. Now, be it a newly married woman or a woman married for years is asked questions like; “family kab start karney ka plan hai?”. How can you even invade in someone else’s personal lives when you can’t handle yours with grace?
This particularly takes a big toll on the mental health of a girl, you see everything is linked in this society. You can barely see a person with having some kind of issues and still being the most positive and throwing good vibes along. Even if a couple has not yet started a family we are no one to question them since it is out of etiquettes as well as everyone holds their own choice. Please be nice to people and spread positivity instead of being someone whose presence is not appreciated amongst people.